The Occasional Zero

I need to gloat.

See, the past 2 months have been incredible! I reached 1k followers, 60k reads and 5k votes on The Sentinel. At one point, I was number four out of a thousand on the Hot Adventure chart.

Then Wattpad (the site I post stories on) began glitching. Like it was on drugs. In a crack house.

Rankings went out of control. Chapters were scrambled. It was chaos. Most noticeably, though, my notifications hit zero. I usually get anywhere from 65-100 notifications every day from people writing me, and people reading and commenting on my books.

Zero was new. Zero was scary. Zero reminded me way too much of my beginning.

I remembered when I first started writing on Wattpad. I stayed up an entire night and “wrote” out three chapters on my phone, a hideous story called Death’s Wings. That story is, thankfully, no longer in existence, and I have since figured out how to write on a computer. Shocker, I know, who would have thought it possible?

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Some other things have changed in the past year and a half too.

In the beginning, no one read anything I had put up. I didn’t know any better then, but this basically meant that my story was so sad and poorly written and the premise so cliche that no one wanted to read it. Not to mention… grammar was a really big issue. I remember my mother reading my 200-word opening, and then asking me if I knew the difference between ‘it’s’ and ‘its.’ My answer then was, “Yes.” Embarrassingly enough, that was a downright, bald-faced lie. Either way though, that issue of grammar was quickly rectified. Now I’m just the Ophrah of commas.

When nothing happened with Death’s Wings, I quit writing long stories for a year or so. Instead, I read. I wrote essays for college. I pieced together a few short stories here and there, and the occasional fanfiction to fix the faults of the original authors. Somehow, my writing improved.

Somewhere along the way, I had a daydream that sparked my first real story, the one I have stuck with the longest. The Sentinel. People liked it. I like it. Today I got my first, “Can I steal your work to make a game out of it?” To which I said unequivocally, “No.”

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There are moments when I don’t think I will ever finish The Sentinel and moments where I am so excited to write I shoot out 3 chapters all in one day. The latter moments are much rarer.

But if there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that writing on a social platform is an emotional roller coaster. I, like so many other young writers, am in this constant battle of, “Am I good enough?” and “Is this worth it?” vs. the “Dang! I can’t believe I wrote this!,”  or the, “Yes, I am awesome!”

There are days where I have 50-100 people praising me, and then there is the occasional zero, and I am happy to say that those quiet days are becoming fewer and fewer. And maybe it’s my self-centered writer side talking…

But I think that’s a good sign.

Subscribe to get tuned into more of Hannah’s Alaska Fantasy stories! See you in the next post!

*All comments on this blog are merely the suggestions, mad ravings, and opinions of the author. They should be taken with a grain of salt and understanding that she may just be a well-worded lunatic and not a literary/life expert.*

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